"911 what’s your emergency?"
it’s….. the president… he hasn’t been online for over 4 months…. i don’t think he’s alive
people asking me what kind of music i like is such a stressful experience
“why are you taking your laptop into the bathroom”
life is all about tough decisions
getting enough sleep or staying on the internet
me and my brother were fighting and he grabs his phone and randomly calls a number and he says “is this the dog pound? because my sister is the biggest bitch”
me as a parent: